6 Resolutions for the New Year

My, I’m glad that this year is over. Despite the Political Tsunami on March 8, we see the repeat of many issues. As a new year is dawning tomorrow, according to the current calendar, we tend to take stocks of our lives and make New Year resolutions. I made mine in a minute. Just cut and paste last year’s.

Allow me to highlight the repeat of events and issues and how this can guide us in making resolutions for better years ahead.

Resolution #1
Never go back to the same hotel room for an affair. Come on, the first step towards building a long lasting extra-marital relationship is not to leave tracks. For someone to place a hidden camera in a hotel room means that you’re too predictable.

Anyway, good show. Looks like, the affair wasn’t the only thing that is, ehm, long lasting. Bravo.

Resolution #2
Don’t go near a boy if you have been jailed for sodomy charges. History repeats itself and more so in Malaysia. Luckily, the mattress is not featured this time. Be smart a bit lah. We Malaysians can accept boy-girl but not girl-pengkid or boy-boy. In fact, boy-girl scandals are not really an issue. Please refer to Resolution #1.

Resolution #3
Do not bring children to political events, unless they’re Malay kids. You know-lah, our policemen are kinda racists. They are only very keen to protect non-Malay children if they come for peaceful anti-ISA or cycling events. As for the Malays seeking to defend and protect their rights, it can be a family event.

Resolution #4
Condemn Israel. Protest in front of U.S. embassy. Burn their flags. Make sure you use original Israeli flags. Go blog and tell the world how cruel Israel is and how the Palestinians have suffered for so long. Keep doing it. Call for another intifada. Let the violent cycles continue. Whatever, you do – don’t seek for a sustainable peace agreement. Do not pray for peace in the Middle East. It would be bad for the West’s weaponry industry and the Arab’s petroleum industry.

Resolution #5
Do not learn a new language. Be proud of your mother tongue and your race. Learning English is a waste of time.

Resolution #6
Visit Mongolia. Heard that the women are pretty. Need to go there since according to the Immigration Department, no Mongolian women have ever visited us. I believe the experience would blow you away.


Have a Happy New Year!!